How to Catch A Cheater

Tips for Catching a Lying and Cheating Partner:

• Keep a journal of your spouse’s reported activities. Write down the times, dates, places, other people involved, excuses given, etc. Your journal will become invaluable as you compare what’s said with cell phone records, credit card statements, atm withdrawals, vehicle mileage, and receipts. A cheating spouse is likely to change his or her story, or question your memory, so keeping a record of everything is critical.

• Plan a surprise visit to work, or come home at unexpected times, or make announcements about having to work late, but then come home early, etc.

• If you can, check your spouse’s call log. Look for an unusual amount of phone calls. Keep in mind that cheating spouses often store their lover’s phone number under someone else’s name: a friend, a co-worker, etc.

• You can also purchase computer monitoring software which will make it easier for you to monitor your spouse's activities.
  

• Never confront your spouse until you're certain that you have enough evidence to make your case. And never reveal all of your evidence at once. Most cheating spouses will try to concoct a story to fit the evidence presented. But, if you withhold some evidence, and let your spouse create a story, it gives you the opportunity to use the remaining evidence as leverage. And by strategically withholding evidence, your spouse will start to question exactly how much you know, increasing the odds that he or she will tell you the truth.

Overall, if you find anything suspicious, do not confront your spouse until you're certain that you have enough evidence to get a confession.

And again, think for a minute about how your spouse might try to dismiss your accusations (e.g., we were just joking around, I was just flirting, it was a misunderstanding, we are just friends, nothing happened, etc.). If you can anticipate how your spouse is likely to respond, you can try to gather the evidence you need to counter what he or she says.